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Multiplying Like Rabbits

This is the rabbit story.

Shortly before Easter this year, we thought it would be a good idea to get a couple of baby bunnies. We being Heidi and myself, not Joey. Let's just be clear on that. Heidi could take care of them, it would teach her how to care for animals and give her some responsibility. We could also feature them in the Spring Photos with the Easter Bunny. It was going to be great, easy, cuddly fun.

We found a couple of baby bunnies on marketplace, picked them up and made a bunny pen in the greenhouse. (It was very chilly at the time). We KNEW that one was a boy and one was a girl and that they would have to be separated eventually because we did NOT want a bunny farm. Heidi named them Molly and Toasty Posty. Everything was fabulous, cuddly fun until one morning Toasty Posty was gone. He mysteriously escaped out of a steel pet kennel, dug himself a hole under the greenhouse frame and was gone. Joey searched all around the greenhouse and checked the hedgerow but there were no bunnies. He was later headed to the barn to do chores (about 300' away from the greenhouse) and there was Toasty Posty waiting at the barn door.

Since it was starting to be warm during the day, we decided the bunnies could be moved into the barn. Toasty seemed like he wanted in to be in there anyway. However, he did not want to be with Molly. Every time we went into the barn for chores, Molly would be in the pet kennel and Toasty would be escaped from the kennel and free ranging around the barn. Every time, we would put Toasty Posty back in with Molly. During barn chores sometime during May, Heidi witnessed some very loving activity between the pair. Her exact exclamation "Mom, Toasty is breeding Molly. He's sitting on her." I was upstairs collecting eggs and upon returning to the lower level witnessed it for myself. After that, Toasty Posty was left to free range around the barn.

This arrangement went on for another 2 months. Heidi was being an excellent caretaker, Molly was happy in her kennel and Toasty sunbathed in the sunlight that came in from the open window. One day in July while I was collecting eggs, Molly was particularly agitated. She was crying and pawing at the kennel. I went inside and she raced in circles avoiding me. Then I saw something move in the hay. What the hell was that?! After a few cautious pokes I saw a cluster of pink flesh wiggling in a ball. Aww shit.

Yep, we had babies...on our NON bunny farm. Immediately I went to the house to call the vet to book a neuter appointment for Toasty Posty. Then I called Joey. His response "Um (pause), I thought we agreed this was NOT going to be a thing" and then "How long have they been separated? This isn't adding up." No, it was not. They had been separated for about 2 months and the reproductive cycle of a rabbit is 28 days. We knew Toasty could sneak out of the kennel but could he sneak back in? Or did he do some kinky acrobatics and breed Molly through the wires of the kennel? I suppose we will never know. Either way, we now had 7 baby bunnies to help Molly care for.

Accident that could have been avoided aside, the past 8 weeks have been great, easy, cuddly fun. We have had the busiest summer yet and these little bunnies were just the critters we needed to squeeze every night. When the time came to find new homes for the babies, Heidi was extra chatty about one in particular. Peanut Butter.

"Was Peanut Butter a girl or a boy?" "What if Peanut Butter doesn't find a home?" "Peanut Butter will probably miss me too much if he/she leaves." "Could we please find out about Peanut Butter?" Several you-tube videos later, the entire Kwilos household are now rabbit sexing experts. The verdict - Peanut Butter was a girl so she could stay with Molly and Toasty Posty.

"Mom, it's a good thing Peanut Butter is a girl so she doesn't breed Molly right?!" Yes. "What happened to Toasty, I didn't see any nuts so what did they cut off?" Welp, I'm not quite sure. Maybe you'll find out from Dr. Pol.

This certainly was the rabbit summer. All of the babies found homes with kids. Heidi learned way too much about bunny reproduction, neutering and determining gender. I have never been so speechless in my life. For as much as our 2 bunnies weren't going to be a 'thing', Joey certainly had his share of laughs as well. All is good on our bunny farm.


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